Tag Archives: son

You Before Me

16 May

I know, I know, you think I got that wrong and it’s Me Before You, but, I am not wrong.

Let me explain: a few days ago Patrick, my son and I  were walking the dog and were talking about what should I do now that he is done with college. I told him I feel like all that rush, all that forward moving we went through for the past 12 years of public education came to a halt. Ever since I gave birth to him I’ve been focusing on him, making him my # 1 priority. His education, his wellbeing, his manners, his foundation, all of that has been my work, my goal nothing and no one could ever stop me from reaching it. I had a path and each step brought me closer and closer to the finish line, which we crossed together the minute he held his diploma.

I kept telling him that now he is done with school and I am done worrying (or so I keep telling myself). He is on his path and I am on mine. He will soon start working and will continue chasing his dreams while I need to figure out what to do with my life, my focus, my time. What to fill it with, which direction should I go, what to do. (You can call it a crisis, but I won’t, because I don’t want to jinx it and make it sound even more dramatic than it is. But it is dramatic and anyone who went through what I am going now, will tell you it is a life-altering time in any parent’s life whose child/ren finish their education).

I kept talking while he kept listening. (That’s one of the things I love the most when I spent time with Patrick; he is a great listener). Eventually we turned a corner and I finally stopped talking, waiting for him to say something. And he did, saying, “It’s actually quite simple, Mom. You need to go back to you before me. You before you had me. Find that 24 yr. old woman and see what she’d like to do. Focus on her, help her find her dreams.”

I know his words will remain engraved in my mind for a long time, maybe forever (with my brain’s will) and, while I do not want to be 24 yr. old again, I’d like to rekindle with my old self and see what treasures I’ve buried…you before me: where are you?

 

 

Open Letter To My Son–Part 3

27 Apr

Dear Pat,

This is part three to my open letter and last one. The first letter was an overview of your sixteen years as a student, the second one a ride down memory lane starting with elementary school and ending with college, and now this one is about how it all started… the first seed that was planted and how it grew over the years into this steady and strong foundation you begin your next chapter with, your career.

Every parent wants the best for their child/ren. Every parent dreams their kid/s will become incredibly successful, tackle hurdles and reach peaks, do better than they ever did. Have a better life than they ever had.

My dream for you was to finish college. Find a field that would excite you, something to be passionate about, and love getting up every morning for it. Something that would put money in your pocket to live a comfortable life and fulfill whatever dreams you have. Provide you with means to support a family when time comes. For as long as I remember I thought you’d become a … doctor or architect (I know, completely different fields but, that’s how I saw you). Your caring nature, your love of people and the attention to detail in everything you built with lego made me believe that’s where you’ll end up, in the medical field or constructions. How wrong I was!

Sometime in middle school your essay on “Why is putting all your eggs in one basket a bad idea” won an award and there would be some sort of ceremony at school. It was also about the same time you began playing Gaia, the only online game we allowed you to be on (30 minutes a day if you did your chores, remember?). You were making millions and enjoyed buying/selling your goods. Later on, in high school, you took a business class, ending up qualifying for state in D.E.C.A. competition. When time came for you to decide which college to apply for, you wanted W.P. Carey School of Business at Arizona State University.

So, here we are years later with you about to hear the bell ring for the last time. Next week you’ll have final exams. May 11th is the ceremony for your graduation, closing the student chapter of your life. Starting in June you begin working as area manager at Amazon. To map it all out it looks like this:

I don’t think there are enough words to tell you how proud I am of you. How my heart just melts at the sight of you and bursts open looking at who you became. I always knew you have potential and I never doubted you. I have no regrets about what we did while you were in school. How we pushed you to study and to get better grades. How we checked your homework, and how we kept a vigilant eye over your education, your friends and your behavior. Because the results are shown here and now, with you finding your calling.

I have no idea what the future holds or where life will take you. How many roadblocks will be thrown your way. How many struggles you’ll fight. But what I do know is that I have no worries that you will thrive and you will be just fine. Your tool box is filled with everything Dad and I tried to instill in you, morals and values, every tool you’ll need to succeed.

Have a smooth sailing, Patrick!

With never ending love,

Mom

P.S: A memento from our last lunch at Memorial Union, eating taco salad from Qdoba and talking about everything and anything, as we did for the last four years…

 

 

 

 

Happy 21st birthday, Patty Cakes!

24 Jun

I don’t think I’ve ever been as excited about my own birthdays as I am about Patrick’s (or Patty Cakes as some of you know I call my son).

Today my beautiful son turns 21 and this birthday of his is no exception. I find myself overwhelmed by a mixture of emotions. In other words, I’m a mess. I remember my water breaking middle  of the night and being rushed to the hospital, so so anxious to finally meet him (actually her as the doctor told me throughout my entire pregnancy–that I’ll have a baby girl. Talk about shock and amazement at once seeing that was no baby girl, but a baby boy). For two days my baby had no name since we were prepared for a girl, but eventually we settled on Johann Patrick.

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And Patrick it was. Years passed by and Patrick grew up to be this incredible, smart, kind, loving, handsome, caring, generous, loyal, friendly, hard worker individual, but above all: my son. I don’t know if you can totally understand how proud I am about this kid; how amazed I am about what he had achieved so far, and how at peace I am knowing everything he’d done in his short life will take him to a bright future, of that I have no doubt.

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I look at Patrick and wonder how did I get so lucky to be his mom? How did I get so lucky to see him draw his first breath, hear his first cry and word, see his first smile, first step, first day at school? How did I get so lucky to hold his hand, and feel his hugs–the kind of hugs that needed me to kneel so he can reach for me, then later leveled until they transformed in bear hugs and required me to stand on my toes and him to bow? How did I get so lucky to share his love, pains and dreams, his quests and goals?

I do not know the answer to any of these questions. But what I do know is that when I held him for the first time I promised him I’ll be there, loving and supporting him to the best of my abilities, that I would do everything in my power to raise him properly and offer him all I could. I hope I’ve kept my promise so far and will continue to for as long as I draw breath.

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Happy birthday, Patty Cakes! ❤

The story of… Patty Cakes and Tippy Toes

9 Mar

In my previous post I promised to tell you the story of nicknaming my son Patty Cake and his girlfriend Tippy Toes. 

Over the years Patrick earned several nicknames: as a little kid he was Boaba which in Romanian means Bean or Auriu which means Golden. The nicknames came natural, to some extend caused by his appearances: Boaba because his blue eyes had the form of beans and Auriu because his hair was well, the color of gold. Not very creative, huh?

Some time during middle school and all the way through high school he became just… Pumpkin. He was mortified when he hung out with his friends at our house and out of the blue I’d call, “Pumpkin, lunch is ready!” Talk about all-times-parent-moment-embarrassment. I hope I didn’t scar him, but in my defense I was just being … mom. 

Fall of 2013 marked the beginning of a new era in Patrick’s life: college. And with anything new why not get a new nickname? I remember cooking one evening and he was helping me (which unfortunately it doesn’t happen as often as I wish). Maybe it was because of being hungry, or cooking, I’m not sure, but somehow and out of the blue I called him Patty Cakes. We burst out laughing and since then Patrick is  Patty Cakes. 

January of last year Patty Cakes brought home this super cute/adorable/friendly/loving/funny girl he met at school. He didn’t just bring her home; he snuck her in the house for the first two times, late at night. Between my husband –who can hear a needle drop in my neighbor’s house and my dog–who barks at anything that comes near our house within a two miles radius, Alyssa walked in without anyone knowing. We couldn’t name her anything but Tippy Toes, right?

We never know what the future brings but today Patrick and Alyssa are still an item, so madly in love, so perfect for each other and happier than ever. Time will tell if they’ll earn other nicknames, but for now Patty Cakes and Tippy Toes fit them like a second skin.IMG_2354

Many go out for wool and come home shorn

1 Apr

I woke up this morning with a clear plan, pinning all items on my to-do-list: between loads of laundry, cooking and groceries shopping I’d answer e-mails, compose new posts for the blog and continue on the short story I have an upcoming deadline for. I had the energy of a locomotive freshly loaded with coals and nothing could stop me.

Back home in Romania we have a saying, which translated into English might not sound as interesting as in my native tongue, but I found something similar: Many go out for wool and come home shorn. The first change to the plan came in the morning when Patrick asked me if I want to go to B&N and hang out. Are you kidding me? No emails or mountains of laundry could stop me from doing  just that. So off we went. Shortly my niece joined us. I couldn’t been happier. By the time 2pm rolled in and Patrick needed to be at work I didn’t even look over my emails–everything could wait, my spending time with my son and niece no way!

While cooking dinner, my sister called and asked if I’m in the mood to go for a walk, maybe have a cup of tea together. Sure, I said. Emails, posts, chapters–oh, well. All can wait–my spending time with my sister doesn’t. I still have two loads of laundry, and now finally sit at the computer.

In looking back I could’ve not ask for a better day. And how was yours?