Tag Archives: walking

You Before Me

16 May

I know, I know, you think I got that wrong and it’s Me Before You, but, I am not wrong.

Let me explain: a few days ago Patrick, my son and I  were walking the dog and were talking about what should I do now that he is done with college. I told him I feel like all that rush, all that forward moving we went through for the past 12 years of public education came to a halt. Ever since I gave birth to him I’ve been focusing on him, making him my # 1 priority. His education, his wellbeing, his manners, his foundation, all of that has been my work, my goal nothing and no one could ever stop me from reaching it. I had a path and each step brought me closer and closer to the finish line, which we crossed together the minute he held his diploma.

I kept telling him that now he is done with school and I am done worrying (or so I keep telling myself). He is on his path and I am on mine. He will soon start working and will continue chasing his dreams while I need to figure out what to do with my life, my focus, my time. What to fill it with, which direction should I go, what to do. (You can call it a crisis, but I won’t, because I don’t want to jinx it and make it sound even more dramatic than it is. But it is dramatic and anyone who went through what I am going now, will tell you it is a life-altering time in any parent’s life whose child/ren finish their education).

I kept talking while he kept listening. (That’s one of the things I love the most when I spent time with Patrick; he is a great listener). Eventually we turned a corner and I finally stopped talking, waiting for him to say something. And he did, saying, “It’s actually quite simple, Mom. You need to go back to you before me. You before you had me. Find that 24 yr. old woman and see what she’d like to do. Focus on her, help her find her dreams.”

I know his words will remain engraved in my mind for a long time, maybe forever (with my brain’s will) and, while I do not want to be 24 yr. old again, I’d like to rekindle with my old self and see what treasures I’ve buried…you before me: where are you?

 

 

Open Letter of Apology to my Body

14 Oct

Dear Body,

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry I’ve neglected you. I’ve abused you feeding you junk food. For the past year I’ve replaced daily workouts with daily splurges. Instead of running I sat at the computer. Instead of hitting the gym I hit rock bottom giving up on myself.

I ate candies and gummy bears and ice cream. I delved in burgers and French fries and pastries. Who cared that they creped up on me, pound after pound—I didn’t. I told myself after I turned 40 that it didn’t matter—I should finally indulge in those things I craved. And indulge I did. Eleven pounds later I hated looking in the mirror.

But no more.

I’m done.

Cleaned up my pantry and started working out. In moderation, which is something I have to teach myself how to do it. Take long walks. Starting two weeks ago my boss and I challenged ourselves to take the stairs (our office is on 7th floor) twice a day. We write down how long it takes us to come up. In a month we’ll raise the bar to 3 times a day.

Today was a good day. I treated myself to a coffee by walking to the Starbucks near my house, which is not quite near (1.8mi away). An hour later, my walk tracker recorded 3.6mi.

Numbers isn’t the reason why I do this, but because it finally hit me that if I give up on you, you will eventually give up on me. And you and I have to be BFFs forever, not enemies. I’ll give you healthy food, plenty rest and exercise, knowing you’ll burst with energy and fit in my clothes again.

Deal?